The Five Takeaways from the Smoke Signal of Leadership

As I continue to grow and reflect on my own leadership journey, especially in multigenerational spaces, I’ve come to realize that some of the most valuable lessons are the ones that don’t come from a textbook. They come from trial and error, from conversations that didn’t land, and from environments where I had to dig deep to keep showing up. Below are five of my personal takeaways from this experience, grounded in real-world leadership and tied into the framework from Ruben and Gigliotti’s (2019) Leadership, Communication, and Social Influence work on resonance, activation, and cultivation.

Leadership and Management Can Easily Blur—Especially Across Generations

I’m sure I was on the other end of this spectrum when I first entered the workforce in the early to mid-1990s. At that time, the culture of communication looked very different. As a member of Generation X, I didn’t own a cell phone until I was 21, and even then, it was a basic analog model with a limited number of monthly minutes reserved for emergency calls only. Fast forward to a more recent chapter in my career, where I worked for over four years as a forensic ACT program. In that role, I found myself working for a team that included licensed nurses and several rehabilitation specialists, most of whom were Generation Z or Millennials. The generational gap was evident, especially in how we communicated.

One major challenge I faced was learning to communicate on their level if I wanted to be heard and was communicating on their level. Millennials and Gen Zers are exceptional digital communicators. They’re fluent in social media platforms and workplace tools like Microsoft Teams, which they use not only to share information but to build rapport. For someone who came from a time when digital communication was limited or nonexistent, adjusting to this fast-paced, tech-driven environment required effort, flexibility, and humility.

At first, it felt like I was playing catch-up. But over time, I began to see the positive impact these newer mediums have on team dynamics and collaboration. Platforms like Teams are not going away, and if anything, they are evolving and expanding, opening the door to entirely new forms of communication soon. Learning to embrace these tools became essential, not just for staying current, but for genuinely connecting across generational lines, something Ruben and Gigliotti (2019) would describe as aligning within the zone of Resonance.

Communication Styles Aren’t One-Size-Fits-All

I quickly learned that the message isn’t just about the words you say. It’s also about how, when, and where you say them. Gen Z communicates fast, visually, and on digital platforms. They want immediacy and clarity, not long emails or lengthy meetings. If I wanted to be heard, I had to step into their world and speak their language. And I don’t mean just logging into Teams. I mean genuinely listening, being flexible in how I show up, and understanding that communication is about connection, not control.

The RAC Framework Gave Language to What I Was Already Trying to Do

When I came across Ruben and Gigliotti’s (2019) RAC model—Resonance, Activation, and Cultivation—it felt like someone had finally put words to what I’d been trying to do all along. I’d been navigating relationships, shifting communication strategies, and investing in people’s growth, but I hadn’t always had the framework to explain why it mattered or how it worked.

Resonance is all about alignment. It’s about tuning in to the values, beliefs, and experiences of others so your message actually reaches them. Activation is what happens when someone hears your message and responds, not because they’re forced to, but because it resonates. Ruben and Gigliotti (2019)  note that Activation is the “reflexive engagement by potential followers, collaborators, or supporters to accept or reject initiated messages, processes, strategies, or structures” (p. 57).  And cultivation is the long-term process of building others up, making sure they’re equipped to lead when it’s their time.

Once I understood this model, I started applying it with more purpose. I became more strategic in how I engaged others and more patient in the cultivation process. It taught me to see leadership as something relational and fluid, not fixed or hierarchical.

Poor Communication Breeds Toxic Culture

One of the most sobering lessons I’ve learned is that when communication fails, toxicity thrives. I’ve stayed in work environments longer than I should have out of loyalty to clients and staff, not because the culture was healthy, but because I cared deeply about the people and the clients we served.  A toxic work environment can ensue due to ineffective communication.  Ruben and Gigliotti (2019) illustrate how the sender delivers a message to a receiver produces the desired effect.  And while loyalty is admirable, staying in unhealthy systems can take a real toll.

Poor communication shows up in subtle ways. Maybe the same voices always dominate the conversation. Maybe some employees don’t feel heard. Maybe messages are delivered in ways that alienate rather than invite participation. Over time, those things add up. Misunderstandings become mistrust, and that mistrust becomes a disconnection.

Leadership Is a Steady Burn, Not a Flash in the Pan

My biggest takeaway from Ruben and Gigliotti’s (2019) work is that the RAC framework isn’t just about strategy; it’s about how we see people in professional spaces. Leadership means aligning with others, not forcing change on them. It’s about building genuine connections rooted in their needs, beliefs, and values.

Reliable leadership promotes balance. It’s not authoritarian or one-sided; it uses social influence wisely to keep people engaged and moving forward together. The RAC model—Resonance, Activation, and Cultivation—helped me name what I’ve tried to practice for communication that connects, motivates, and develops others over time.

Our podcast title, Ashes & Authority, might sound like a contradiction, but it captures something deeper. For me, leadership is like a well-tended cigar; it burns smooth and steady when you care for it. Neglect it, and it goes out. Sure, you can relight it, but it’s never quite the same.

Leadership requires consistent tending. It’s not about big moments or being the loudest in the room. It’s about showing up, communicating clearly, and investing in others. I don’t want to be remembered for dominating a space, I want to be remembered for lighting a path others can follow, and for leaving behind an ember that still glows after I’m gone.

---

References

Ruben, B. D., & Gigliotti, R. A. (2019). Leadership, communication, and social influence: A theory of resonance, activation, and cultivation. Emerald Publishing.